The Kingdom of God is in You

Daniel and May almost got separated when she found out everything but at the end, she forgave him unconditionally. It’s where he realized that he didn’t have to look and fall for someone else when she’s all that he needed. Beyond that, he had come into full circle with his awareness fully opened of the great love that May has been giving him for many years.

Oftentimes in our lives, we take for granted of the people who are just in front of our sight. We go outside and search for happiness when all along, it has already been there right besides us. The same case when we search for God and all other truths. We may have read many books and study the faiths of different religions.

We may have been to different churches or schools and listened to different teachers, philosophers, theologians, pastors and priests. We may have been on pilgrimages to various sacred tombs, hills and mountains. We may have spent countless hours in prayer, waiting to see the face of God and hear His voice. We may even expect that what happened to the saints and mystics would also happen to us. We try to find God where He can personally talk to us and transform our lives.

After all our long search, we could be upset that we didn’t find what we’re looking for when we fully realize that God is just all along within us.

In the hidden Gospel of Thomas, Jesus Christ said, “The kingdom of God is inside of you and all around you, not in buildings of wood and stones. The kingdom is inside of you and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the Living Father. But if you will not know yourselves, you will dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty. Recognize what is in your sight and that which is hidden from you will become plain to you.”

The kingdom is the true and lasting happiness which we all have been looking for…in the immemorial hands of time. Our perennial mistake is we don’t realize that We are Happiness, ourselves. We just have to actualize it. This is one of the greatest truths of who we really are. The other side of the kingdom can be found just in all around us who is literally the closest in our existence…spouse, partner, child, sibling, parent, relative or a friend. Unless we know and live in this truth, we will forever be, restless, empty and sad.

– excerpts from Oh, Daniel

masturbate in the most pleasurable way

While working, just few minutes ago, I received an email from a man who’s asking me on how to masturbate in the most pleasurable way. He said he’s been reading my writings on this site and just like me, he’s forced to stay home and refrain from fucking other women. So he got no choice but to masturbate. However, he’s getting bored and wonder if there’s a different way to masturbate. I must admit this is the first time I’m being asked with this kind of question. Anyway, it’s worth sharing my answer to him…

This is how you masturbate and have a pleasurable experience while achieving great orgasm. Now this is the ideal scenario. You’re alone in the room and you have a desktop computer or laptop. Make up in your mind on what really turns you on. For me, what turns me on is going to a porn site and type Iwia in the search box. It’s a name of a famous European pornstar. Why her? Because she really looks like my former girlfriend whom I consider to be the yummiest girl of all the fuckings I had. Iwia got more than a hundred stunning videos. So I don’t get bored watching the same girl in different scenes.

Then I use a massage oil (with lavender orange & lemongrass essential oils) to masturbate my cock while I stand with my eyes focused on the screen. Why stand? Just try it and you can compare that the orgasm achieved is better than sitting. There must be a scientific explanation behind it. I don’t have to elaborate on how a man should do it for I can write a thousand words about it but the most important thing is focus without rushing. It means, let the video play from the start as you slowly and gently masturbate while watching her face, her facial expression, her moanings, her moves, her breasts, her legs, her vagina and the contours of her whole body. When you feel, you are about to cum, still don’t make your stroking faster.

Maintain the speed from beginning to end even when your semen fires up. Maybe you’re used to make it faster when you’re cumming but try this method and you will experience a big difference.

The Lesser Evil

Someone told me that for a married man, getting a hand job is a lesser evil. I agree.

For me, evil isn’t defined as something scary that you’re going to hell in eternal damnation when you die. After all, there’s no such thing as like that. Evil is just something which involves pain or danger in this world. As long as it’s contained in hand job where there’s no sexual intercourse involved, everything’s fine. Yet it’s still evil in the sense that instead of your money spent on it, it should have gone to pay your bills or buying your wife and kids of the things they want. Well, if you’re a rich guy, you don’t have a problem. Evil comes in when you don’t have time anymore with your family. Surely, they’ll be hurt.

Anyhow, all of us have both good and evil playing in our lives. Even with the holiest person you may see in the church ground, you don’t know what he does in the dark when no one’s around. All of a sudden, you hear in the news that your parish priest, whom you thought to be very religious and spiritual, is all the while involved in child molestation or sex with a minor. I say, the priest has committed a greater evil where pain is severe because of the trauma caused on the child.

However, for a man who can’t control his sexual desires for another woman, instead of fucking around, masturbation must be done. After cumming, lust will subside.

If solo masturbation is a boring routine for you, then go for a hand job at least once in two weeks and politely ask the woman to make your dick happy (both should wear face mask and face shield since there’s still no vaccine for covid-19). After, sanitize hands with alcohol.

That’s lesser evil. Comparing you’re maintaining an extra-marital love affair, it’s expensive. Trust me. I’ve been around. Not only it drains your pocket, it’s also mind draining because you’re living in constant fear of getting caught.

During a hand job (which I recently did in the car), it’s almost close to impossible of getting caught by your wife. Just in case, you’re caught, tell her, “Honey, it’s just a hand job. Nothing happened. I didn’t put my penis inside her vagina. We didn’t even kiss. There was social distancing. I was in the driver’s seat while she’s in the front seat.” Hehehe!

No one gets pregnant. No one gets HIV. No one gets covid.

But to be honest, it’s so very yummy when you’re on top fucking a different attractive woman. The more it gets to be yummier when she’s the one on top, especially when she’s very good in pumping and grinding! My saliva is now dripping, recalling those moments I had with different girls at the motel.

to lust or not to lust

This pandemic has brought a drastic change in my life. Before, whenever there was an opportunity to fuck an attractive girl, I did it without hesitation. Now when this damn covid started to penetrate our city since March of this year, even when presented with an opportunity and even though deep inside I dislike it, I turn away from temptation.

I’ve been receiving messages from my social media account from the women I fucked before. Some just miss fucking for the pleasure of it while some are ready to massage fuck in exchange of money.

When hiv came into my awareness in the 90’s, I was afraid a little but it didn’t stop me from feeding into my carnal desires. I still fucked and fucked every pretty women I came across with. Some I wore protection while I some, I didn’t.

This covid is different. Maybe because of the daily news that I heard, seen and witnessed, it somehow pushed me back with my lust being suppressed. Of course, I know, lust can’t be suppressed for long. It has to come out in one way or the other. This is where watching porn while masturbating comes in. But I also know, it can’t always be like that. There has to be some variation. Masturbation is still there but watching not a porn video but staring at a seductive woman on the street while I’m in my car. Sometimes, gazing at an attractive woman dressed in mini skirt, I would then lock in her image into my mind. I try to concentrate on her chest, butt and crotch, not minding her face mask… So later at night, I would then fuck my wife, with that woman still on my mind, I would try to cum. And I cummed. Although not that great compared fucking a different real woman but at least, I cummed.

I must admit that it’s difficult for me to achieve orgasm when I fuck my wife. We’ve been fucking for so many years now. Time comes it’s getting boring yet still I have to fuck her. I feel like it’s my responsibility to fuck her regularly. Because if not, I could cause depression on her, making her think I don’t want her anymore.

Please don’t get me wrong. I love her truly. I really do. She has done wonderful things to me that no woman has ever done before. She’s the mother of our kids. She raised them very well that they become respectful and loving. She has forgiven me many times. She let me see what true unconditional love really is.

But my lust for other woman can’t be extinguished. Countless times I tried to before but I always failed. I guess lust is here to stay forever. I realize my being a carnal man is part of who I am. On the other hand, if I really want to take away my lust with all determination and discipline, I think I can annihilate it. But then again, if it happens, can I still write erotica? Can I still write about love and romance? Can I still live life with excitement, thrill and ecstatic joy? I don’t think so.

Rainer Maria Rilke said, “Don’t take my devils away, because my angels may flee too.”

I’m mystified by Rilke’s words yet I’m constantly guided.